i.
sometimes i look at
those people who has
blurry panoramas and wears
glasses to see the universe
unfold before them.
the frame relied on noses
full of pimples or full of freckles
or consists of nothing but softness.
and i see the boy i used to love
with all my childish thoughts
and all my quietness
in the foggy surfaces.
he never sees me.
i see him everywhere.
ii.
i have a confession:
all these words i spilled
over these fake papers-
all the simple convenience
all the complicated algorithm
all the keyboard clicks-
for the past six years
it’s all about you.
iii.
i think about the messages we had,
deleted after updates after updates.
the internet history is
oblivious to our history,
and you are as oblivious
as the internet user.
once you close a tab,
you never seem to remember
how you leave a mark on me.
iv.
to the girl i deeply admire:
soar, honey, soar.
i always pray for you
even if you never seek
encouragement from me again.
to the girl i deeply adore:
burn, baby, burn.
i always remember you
even if you keep me in
your dusty memories.
you are still so bright
and i am curling
in your shadow
to see you
shine even brighter
that the shadow disappears.
(people come and people go.)
v.
i want to talk to you
but you and i
never seem to align anymore
i am the one who keeps wanting
keeps remembering keeps writing
about these quiet heartaches of mine
let this fake paper burden my thoughts
because here my heartaches are as loud
as bullets piercing through a heart
finale:
i just want to touch the love i never had.
